On buckets and the wisdom of listening to a seven-year-old

Warning: The post you are about to read is highly sentimental. Some may argue that it verges on being cheesy. If you dislike this type of writing, please navigate away from the page.


Still here? Don't say I didn't warn you. It's not too late to turn back.

My story begins on a windy Friday afternoon. I'm not sure why I mentioned the wind because it doesn't really play into the events of the day. But if it helps to set the scene, imagine the wind. On this Friday afternoon, I was planning on leaving work early to attend an assembly at Ian's school. He didn't know I was coming; it was to be a surprise. A friend from his class had nominated him to receive the Character Key. I was excited to attend—I'd made arrangements for my classes to be covered. But the friend who was planning on covering my classes was at home herself with a sick child. So I almost just decided to not go. I mean, he wasn't really expecting me, was he? In the end, though, I found someone else to cover my classes, and I headed across town to the assembly.

I walked in to a packed lunchroom just in time to see Ian's class sing a song about the importance of dental hygiene (useful information to have) and the beginning of the distribution of the keys. As he was receiving his key, he caught my eyes, and his face lit up. His friend said she "picked Ian because he is the most courtesy." Why did I not have my camera?

On the way home, Ian told me about a book the school counselor had read to them. The book, How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath, was originally published for adults, but he teamed up with Mary Reckmeyer to write a children's book with the same idea.

Rath theorizes that

"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it’s empty, we feel awful.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people’s buckets—by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions—we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others’ buckets—by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions—we diminish ourselves.

So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another’s buckets, or we can dip from them. It’s an important choice—one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness” (How Full is Your Bucket, p15).

As Ian was telling me the point of the story, he finished by saying, "Well, mine's full."
And to think that I considered not going to the assembly. You can learn a lot from a seven-year-old.